all that i am

my 'baby' he is 18 now...

my little sister and i tasting our first snow

the first winter in pittsburgh, pa, after our move from california @ 1963

MARK 6:7-13

Jesus summoned the 12 and began to send them out two by two...

He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick...

no food, no sack, no money....

could I "go out" like that?

supposedly it is so we become reliant on God alone, not our own efficiency

to trust God to provide, wherever we may be, wherever we may go

maybe he has worked that level of trust into my life

i'm not a worrier

but as i drive my husband to his office this morning and pass all the people and kids walking in the bitter cold

i hope stephen is dressed warmly

i hope he put on his thermals, and his hat and scarf...maybe even gloves!

it is really cold!?!?

it used to be my job to lace and tie and wrap and bundle up the children

i realize it's up to them now,

to be cold or to dress for the weather,

if not today...tomorrow, after being cold today!?

my part has been done for a long while now.
i raised them, they are on there own...yet it's funny those things i fear

i guess being cold isn't the worst that could happen

i look at the photo of me and my sister our first winter, we had mittens, snow suits...

i can actually remember the heavily embroidered trim on that red coat

our parents dressed us, provided for us, took care

i think i tend to forget that, when i think back on all the craziness that came later

i grew into the person i am, though, because of every event that i experienced in my life

and i'm alright

i married my high school sweet heart, and we have remained married

just this past year celebrating our 25th anniversary with a trip to italy, by ourselves

we have four wonderful children, all grown and out of the house, with no police records, abuse issues, unwanted pregnancies...or even tatoos

so what if they don't wear their hat and scarf!?

somehow, something in me knew how to be a wife and mom

and i count that as all grace, because i know if left on my own

i'd still be standing on the corners of my youth in my thread bare, but way too cool not to wear, army jacket!?

with my waist long hair, still wet from the shower, the only thing wrapped around my bare neck