all that i am

1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child;

but when I became a woman, I put away childish things.
my mom, my brother, my sister and I, June 1968, I was ten years old

the only picture I have of me with my mom from childhood

me and my grandma, in March 1959, I was nine months old

one of three pictures I have of myself as a baby

Alright... so I've resolved all my end of life issues for my husbands peace of mind

(see yesterday's post)

And today is lovely, a touch of spring in the February air, supposed to go into the high 60's

no rain, yet...but no sun either

But that past...

as long as I've thought about it and 'talked' about it, prayed about it, forgiven it

allowed God to work in it...and accepted it...

those were my days of childhood

and they made me into the kind and loving person I am?!?

it's still this question for me

and maybe writing these words right now has finally given me yet another insight

I have this picture of me and my grandma,

I have the one of me crying wearing the same little bonnet (my profile shot)

and I have this wonderful, little happy face shot...

I'm on the left, my husband on the right

It's always bothered me, as to why there aren't more photographs out there?!?

Why isn't there a picture of my mom with me as a baby, or a toddler? or me and my dad?
I was ten years old before this photo was taken, by then they were already heading for divorce

though it didn't come for many more years

This photo was actually taken for my dad, because he was going to be away for the summer

I don't know why, they say they are on slides, damaged somewhere along the line?!?

That my dad took all the photos, so he isn't in them

and that my mom hated having her picture taken

I believe all that is true

I guess in that childlike thinking I just want more, I want what I want

I'm very grateful, I have these, they mean so much to me

I know not everyone has, even this

And also at this writing the revelation that came to me is that

all the memories I do have come out of my own memories

they are not projections from images that I may have seen over the years

not true remembrances

good or bad, many or few, as they may be