an evening under the circus tent

I read all these lovely blogs written by young women with children.
I see their beautifully photographed candid shots of their children, and perfect husbands, and homes,
their home made bread and home grown eggs, and home made arts and crafts for sale on etsy....


I am not even in the competition anymore...our kids are grown...
But I remember the 'competition' of when they were little, stay at home moms vs. working moms, moms who bake cookies vs. moms who bring store bought...



It seems ten or even a hundred fold worse now.
To have a blog...
to take and download all your photos of the day...
to scrapbook all those images
to have a home that you are remodeling or even constructing...
to be a home schooler...
to perhaps have a business, or craft on the side that is earning income...
or to be running a farm, planting a garden...

I know I had to insulate myself from the world that was swirling around me when I was just beginning and trying to figure out what being a mom was...who I was...

Is all this initimacy into everyones lives a good helpful and supportive thing or does it set us all up for failure?!?
I loved my kids so much it hurt, I wanted them to have and to give them all that they needed, and most of the time I didn't feel like I was enough or sufficient and so I wanted to be more than I was...I wanted to be better for them...
They reflected back to me who I was, and made me see myself and want to be better because they deserved the best...


Is this conglomerate world of moms good for us to always have in front of us to aspire to or not?!? It is too much for me to even get my arms around!??!