Saturday, August 1, 2009

I sat here yesterday catching up after the week of 'Camp' and noticed a change in the traffic noise that fills our open to the sounds of summer house....

I looked out my window and watched a funeral procession proceed up the street.

After it passed, I saw a young girl walking down the sidewalk, wearing a white t-shirt and a bright pink skirt and flip flops .

Our quiet ordinary street showing the same juxtaposition of life and death that I wrote about the other day.
Today I got in the car to do some errands...recycling, picking up prescriptions
and heard three songs in a row on the radio about life and death...
Chicago...time enough to die....
Bread...Can't live, if living is without you...
Beach Boys...God, only knows what I'd be with out you...

All is well in my world. It's summer......
Yet I observe very closely sometimes, major things happening within arms reach...
Justin, a young man my son's went to school with, who was sand surfing, and broke his neck and is paralyzed from the waist down, and fighting pneumonia right now
Denise's friend, Trish who had a clean biopsy PET scan yesterday, Trina...with cancer and a four year old, Charlie Murray with diabetes and heart failure, grandpa Bonnasso's death...

My biggest thought lately, as it has been for a long time...is how to make some money...
start a business...what business?!? what passion do I have?!?
What is the desire of my heart?!? My talent, gift...
How can I delight the Lord?!?
What do I want to do before I go......

buy a red corvette like Dennis?!?

Courey and I talked Thursday evening at the UPTOWN about her heart's desire....

It's an amazing thing to me to see her...
so young just starting out...wanting...
just simple things, but with such passion...
and panic of what if they don't happen for her?!?

I remember those feelings...

It's very similar to what I feel now...except I know the greatest work in my life is done
That mothering thing...is accomplished

Maybe not perfectly, but adequately enough
and with the same passion...and desire that she has for her dream

Now it is my time for what comes next...
and I haven't a clue as to what it is let alone, how to accomplish it

Probably the same feeling she is having with where she is right now in life?!?

I told her what I tell myself
and what she also told me

Right now we are where we are...
and it is perfect...
even if it is messy and confusing and frustrating at times
We...enjoy it...
Life is wonderful...a gift

We respond to what comes into our paths, doing our daily work...
And we trust that God is the great conductor...orchestrating
and giving
loving
and allowing it all
Ever present
and wanting the best for us
and providing that...
in His time

life is long, yet a mere breath

live as if it were your last day...live as if you are walking towards eternity...

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