You did not choose Me, but I chose you...John 15:16

You did not choose Me,
but I chose you
and appointed you
that
you should go
and
bear fruit,
and
that
your fruit should remain,
that
whatever you ask the Father in My name

He may give you.

These things I command you

that you love one another.

                      John 15:16-17

Last Monday my brother and I went to have lunch with the new man and wife...till she had to rush off to work, and then we spent the day roaming around the old stomping grounds of our youth. I shot this wonderful fruit from the end of summer trees...

Thursday the reading about fruit that will last stuck in my spirit...and then later that night I received this email from my spiritual director...

David Lichter, the Executive Director of the National Association of Catholic Chaplains (NACC) shared a reflection that got me thinking about ‘resistance’ and ‘thoughts’ that might hold us back or limit our ministry.
Executive Director’s Reflection
This past week my wife and I had the opportunity to see “Vianney” a live performance by Leonardo Deflippis, the director and star of the feature film “Therese” (about St. Therese of Lisieux). It is a dramatization of the life of St. John Vianney, patron saint of priests, that Leonardo had conceived and started production of prior to 2009-2010 being dedicated by Pope Benedict XVI as the year of the priest. After the performance Leonardo expressed his hope that the drama inspires vocations to the priesthood, and Vianney’s life encourages all of us to deeper holiness. It was really well done. It touched us. When Jackie and I left the performance, we commented to each other, “Yes, we can live better lives.”
I was particularly struck, however, by the portrayal of the Satan’s temptations/harassments of the saint.
Behind the sneering, menacing voice and image were messages we each grapple with:
you are not worthy;
you are not effective;
your pride gets in the way;
people don’t really care;
this is too much;
this is not what God wants.
It made me reflect on the sometimes-subtle, always debilitating “messages” that can linger like a bad odor and distract and drain us of resolve and resiliency. It has made me more attentive again, and hopefully makes me a better person.

....And yesterday I opened and read a little of a book that a very spritual person gave me to read back in February and asks me quite often if I have read it yet!?!?
She is quite insistent...that I do...

It also was about the truth of who we are...new creatures in Christ...
called to be holy
free from the power of satan's voice, his lies... in our lives

Very good reminders...all lined up for me to clearly see

I know who I am in Christ
I even think I may see what His call for me is now in this part of my life
and I don't know, but I think I may have just ignored these little guide posts
that He has placed in front of me of this week

or maybe it's just to certain me in my resolve to follow that still small voice

My thought is...of all things...fruit does not remain
I throw out more fruit that has gone bad before we can eat it...than anything else
a very mushy pear and very fuzzy green lemon this week alone

So what is the fruit that remains?!?
Is that what the last part of that verse is directing us to...
the two things that seem a little disjointed from the choosing and remaining part?!??

praying; asking the Father
and loving; this is my command?!?!

I see those two things as the essence of the ministry work we do...

I feel like I let the ball drop on the pursuit of the Clinical Pastoral Education offered thru Ruby.
I started out so gung ho
but maybe listened to too many of satan's words
and allowed myself to fall short

The course specifically says you must have your bachelor degree
I do not

I was told to perhaps try to participate as part of a 'discovery process'
but I did not even inquire if that was a possibility

I stopped
This was a very busy month and trying to squeeze in that multi page application just wasn't possible

and these are my excuses, the lies I will believe until I once again pursue this...

I need to finish and obtain that degree
BFA...maybe photography
I need to talk to someone at the university
so that next year or the following I can do the CPE