how was your day? the life, the living

I was sitting on the sofa with my one and only
the other night
after one of the most 'anticipated' days of my life
talking and trying to make sense of the day
and the last 40 years...

I was happy just in being home...
in the safety of the arms that have surrounded me
these last 35 years
and within the secure walls we have built over the years
no matter where those walls may have been standing

when the phone rang
I answered it only to be admonished
for never checking 'my service'

I tried to explain we had both been out all day
and had just gotten in
waiting for the inquiry
oh, how was your day?
where have you been
is everything okay

only to hear, " I know, I've been calling all day!?!"

I do understand how inconvenient it is to try to reach someone
but I am of the mindset that 'the voice mail' etc... is there for our convenience...
not for us to be in servitude to it

but with a quick adjustment...
I moved on...
off the sofa, out of my hubby's arms
into the world where we live

the world where I continue to fall short
no matter how well I may feel I am doing
or may have done
someone will be disappointed...
oh well

I know I live to please One
and I know He is well pleased

Friday was the right to life march
our son went to D.C. and marched
and I went to visit my 'baby' sister
who I haven't seen in a few years
she was born oh so many moons ago...
because... the right to an abortion was not an option when she was conceived
I have wondered many times if it had been
would her parents have 'chosen'...

when she entered this world
she became part of the interesting and diverse life
our little family was living
and has lived?!?
She should write a book...
{She does have a degree in 'english'}

But right now at 38 years old she has almost nothing
My sister-in-law of the same age
has a husband and 5 children, and all that comes with that!
my sister doesn't even have a home
she and her boyfriend have been living in her car
for almost a year??!
until it was repossessed last month

her father, my stepfather, my mom's second ex-husband....
and his new wife, my childhood babysitter...

spent Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend driving down south to get them
and to bring them to live with them

so she lives within driving distance of me now
so I went to visit last Friday

and all those issues of long ago
came seeping back up into my life, my mind, my days

That's the short version of  'how was your day?'
if anyone would have asked last Friday....

I was dealing with my own stuff
She is dealing with their own stuff
we all are...

and what the Lord has revealed to me in these last days
is that I need to be ready to put my own stuff aside
at the ring of a phone...
whether i'm ready or not
and be sensitive to whatever anyone else may be going thru

In that breif little phone conversation
when my feelings were hurt
for not being taken into consideration

I realized what that feels like
anew...

We all just want our stuff to be front and center...
sometimes it is worthy to be
sometimes it is not
but at least the consideration
OF THE OTHER
first
needs to be of uttmost importance and priority
NOT ME!?!?

That's what I want
demand...
and get bent out of shape over

and... I do not want to be the one to cause someone else to feel those same feelings...

That's all we all want...
to feel that we are important
and that 'our stuff' whatever we are going thru...
is important

to be loved

I try to do live that...
I do

and yet
I am aware
reminded
that I fail
at times
I too...
disappoint

I know forgiveness
and life...yeah....
goes on

to live
to love

I took a little bit of time yesterday to photgraph
my niece and nephew as they enter into their last few weeks
of pregnancy...
new life
a baby loved
just as my little sister was loved
all those many moons ago
and is still loved
today

the past and the present collide
and the future yet to come
possibility
life

eternity

the Friday night phone call was important news
the biggest kind

A call that my husband's first and closest boyhood friend
{other than his imaginary friend, BOYKINS}
the boy next door
has succumbed to the cancer that he has battled for years