Thursday, February 18, 2010

thinking about Lenten love

DSC_0915We are loved
I
You
me
we

and that is what this 40 days
of Lent is for
not so much about gettin stuck feeling like a sinner and remembering that
'you are dust and to dust you shall return'
not so much about fasting and abstainence
and giving up
and doing good

not that we can do good...
or
that by giving up something
we make ourselves better

It's about recognizing that in our very complex and busy little lives
we go around unaware
of what we do
who we are
and what has been done for us

Lent allows us to become aware of who we are
and how we live
and why we live

We begin by examining ourselves
looking at that sinful self
that self that will someday die

and even if in the most superficial way

we ask ourselves
am I at all good?!?
follow that golden rule
do I love myself
care for my temple?

let alone love my neighbor
as myself??

is it perhaps easier for me to be kind and smile at the stranger
than the people I live with or work with everyday

and the answer is always
I can do better
love more
exercise more
eat better
do more random
or intentional...
acts of kindness

Be Christ's presence
Reveal His glory
His forgiveness
His patience
His love

And to do that
we each need to know Him
His love
His glory
His forgiveness

and in our days of giving up and time of being aware
and examining our lives and trying to be disciplined
we become aware of just how weak we are
needy we are
and how good God is

and not just that He gives us what we need to be disciplined...
because that is just for today
but He gave us what we really need
that which is for eternity
It's about getting ready to stand at the foot of the cross on Good Friday
and realize why Jesus is there on the cross

He took away our sin

Eveything that separated us from God

Our ignorance...of not knowing Him
or how much He loves us
Our forgetfulness...for having such short memories
and loosing that knowledge of who we are to Him

He loved us and replaced the death that awaits us at the end of this life
with eternal LIFE

The crucifixion was not pretty
or easy
it was difficult
and painful
and hurt

But it was the natural outcome of sin left to live out it's natural course
death

we want to end anything that makes us uncomfortable
kill the pain
we flee from any distressful feelings
trying our best to eradicate them
we self medicate
overeat
abuse drink
indulge the pleasures of the flesh

even if it only lasts a short while

the pain of our selves is gone for awhile

and Jesus made us uncomfortable then
so we did away with Him
and He makes us uncomfortable now
so we do away with Him

if we listen we know
what is expected of us

we know believing is more than just going to church every Sunday

even non believers want more than that....

and they want to see that it exists
for real

I think that is what we are here for

to be all that we can be
and that is only possible when we are loved
by God
when we know God's love

if we don't know God's love
we feel unloved
we can try to make ourselves better
more lovable

we can think being in relationship
or getting married
will solve the love issue
then we'll know true love
patience and kindness, and long suffering, unconditional love
but
the person we marry is only able to love us
as much as he knows he is loved

so really God has to be in there somewhere
or else there is no love

you just have sparodic emotion
the temporary release from the pain of being alone
another substitute
for real love

an idol
something fake
that we put in the place of the real thing

sometimes when there is no love
or when we haven't known love
or when we don't feel loved
we just give up
and let ourselves be as bad as we feel

but I think for a long time there's a struggle
between what we know is good and what we know is bad
and until you totally deaden that inner voice
there is that struggle
calling us to something
better
good
real

pure

calling us to
love

what we see on the cross
the total giving up of oneself
for another
wanting what is best
what is lasting
forever
eternal

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