looking for an out, finding what is within

fearfully and wonderfully made
                            psalm 139
the fear can be paralyzing
but the wonder can be amazing

sometimes things just build up inside
and i don't even realize it
until those tears come

and a prayer usually quickly follows
and then a song...
and then the peace
and then i am in a totally different place than i was before

i don't really know what happens
but as close as i can tell
it's as if my spirit is refreshed

i feel burdened and oppressed
with no where to turn for an out

and then i realize
i don't need an out
i have an 'in'
the in is that i am in Christ
and that He is in me

i do not know how to love as i ought
i do not know how to forgive
though i so long to live and give
God's perfect love and forgiveness
but here i am still living after all these years
with my same old stubborn and hard heart

but in an instant
i thought
not only am i in Christ
forgiven and loved and okay....
even with all my same old stuff
but He is in me
He is in me
with His love
with His forgiveness

It's not something i have to figure out how to do
something that is beyond me
it is very near
it is within

i do not know how to let the Christ in me out...
how to live it out
but i'm sure He does
and is in the process of doing just that at all times

i just need to yield
don't stop
(like those crazy people trying to enter the interstate)
which is so what i want to do when i am afraid
just keep moving...
He has prepared the way for you
(there's a special lane just for those trying to enter in...)
just keep moving
you are exactly where you are supposed to be
just don't stop

Do not be afraid
I go before you always
I will be your front and your rear guard
Surely goodness and mercy will follow you...