all that i am

"before I formed you
in the womb
I knew you...."
          Jeremiah 1:1

rearranging schedules
for departures
and good byes

a call in the night
four hours behind the estimated time of arrival
what was the problem
is everything okay
and what can we do about it
anyway

sleeping in till some exorbitant time
no coffee till noon
after my tuesday visit
moved to today

out of  'his' cup from now on....
today and everyday...

Monday Wally's wife was grateful that I called to reschedule our visit
they were going to be busy yesterday as well
but then this morning after all their busyness of yesterday
and with today looming empty before her
she forgot
and was having a nice slow morning
still lounging about in her jams
when I show up at the door

I love that feeling of a whole day empty before me
I don't feel like there have been as many as I would like
especially with it being 'those crazy hazy lazy days of summer'
but today has the potential of being one!

my work of the day has been accomplished
'my visit'
what has come to be my balance in my little world

now that our nest is officially empty
and my days are as well....
that age old question has once again reared its fuzzy head
"so what are you going to do when you grow up?"

if it were up to me
this is fine
I love my days

this blog
my visits
our porch
my patch of garden
and laundry put away
my clean wooden floors
time for nieces and nephews
and family and kids home for a meal

I love my little life
the life God has given

but
is there something more I should be accomplishing?
what is God's purpose for the days of my life?
not that I feel a 'call'
to something bigger and better
or a direction
or a desire

it's more like a discontent
within my contentedness?!?!

Or in answer to my God daughter's latest american girl survey
"I want to sit on a porch swing overlooking
a serene hillside
or ocean view"
not this busy thoroughfare
I want a bit more yard
to plant
tomatoes
and zuchhini

and as in all things
we need a little more of this in exchange for that

and how shall I get this?
that is the question....

and so I seek not what to do....

but the One who has known me
before the foundation of the world