Tuesdays will never be the same

for more than a year
my Tuesday mornings have been spent with Wally
but this past Tuesday was our last visit
Thursday morning he never woke from his sleep

but I didn't become aware of it until Saturday morning
sitting down to coffee
with the paper open before me
there on the front page was my hopsice guy's name

oh my
I felt so negligent
delinquent
for not knowing
for not going to visit right away
for not checking my voice mail more often

for going to work
for preparing for and
for visiting with our out of town guests

for shoveling out from the snow
for taking pictures on a morning walk

for being so involved in my own life

my life went on
goes on
of course as it should
and somehow that feels slightly irreverent to me

the same feeling I have
when anyone dies
how does life go on?
shouldn't everything stop...or at least pause?!?!?

in family
it does
there is time for mourning
grieving
being embraced

but as a trained 'volunteer'...
I received a phone call
from my supervisor
and two precious hugs

one from my daughter-in-law
one from Wally's wife

it's an odd thing

how do I honor and celebrate the life
I have come to know
only through the time spent at his bedside
in his presence
as he approached his death and dying

I suppose the same way I have done
all these many months past

living the life God has given...for His glory

holding Wally's cold hands in my warm ones

sitting next to the window in the winter sun
with our little grandson playing at my feet

letting my life be touched

in the living and the dying



God Beyond All Names
             Bernadette Farrell

God, beyond our dreams, you have stirred in us a mem'ry;
You have placed your pow'rful spirit in the hearts of humankind.
All around us we have known you, all creation lives to hold you.
In our living and our dying we are bringing you to birth.


God beyond all names, you have made us in your image;
we are like you, we reflect you; we are woman we are man.
All around us we have known you, all creation lives to hold you.
In our living and our dying we are bringing you to birth.


God beyond all words, all creation tells your story;
you have shaken with our laughter, you have trembled with our tears.
All around us we have known you, all creation lives to hold you.
In our living and our dying we are bringing you to birth.


God beyond all time, you are labouring within us;
we are moving, we are changing in your spirit ever new.
All around us we have known you, all creation lives to hold you.
In our living and our dying we are bringing you to birth.


God of tender care, you have cradled us in goodness,
you have mothered us in wholeness, you have loved us into birth.
All around us we have known you, all creation lives to hold you.
In our living and our dying we are bringing you to birth.