all that i am

somewhere I know a little one is missing his dad
someday he will.... see him again

somewhere else another little one is missing his dad
but he will not be seeing him again
his father has died

three other young ones miss their mom
and will spend a life time trying to answer questions
that will never be answered in this lifetime

why this
why now
why me

wives alone now without husbands
children without dads
children without moms


moms without moms
wives without children

hurt
healing

children marry
babies are born

lives are lived
and living and dying happens to all of us....
babies die

or live without parents

old people live to be beyond 90
while young parents leave young children

there isn't just one set age, time, way...
we can not know

and as much as we hate that it does
when our world seems to have ended

life
goes
on



and for the first time in weeks
I felt
happy

I felt
God's presence
God's glory
joy
so pure I cried

life is...
sad
scary
tragic
painful
confusing
unpredictable
and life has moments of sheer beauty
and they come crammed between the awfulness
glaring at you in the face
daring you not to see
forcing you to say
thank you
thank you

thank you for opening something in me to be able to see
again
to feel gratitude
again
thank you for summer green
for cool blue sky
for eyes
for ability
for feeling
for home
and away
for health
for future
for past
for sun
and for shadow

for arms that catch and hold us

guide and lead us safely home