you are so much more value than a sparrow

when I blog it always seems to be about the image
but it's the words that get me by
...the word

months of days
and they continue to come

like Bernie's song
    "Why does the sun go on shining?
     Why does the sea rush to shore?"

I felt this question
once before in my life
after the loss of my mother in law
27 years ago
why hasn't the world stopped
even if just for a little while
how can everything keep going on as normal

and now I feel it again

relationships
help define who we are

and relationships change

creating new roles in life
brides and grooms
husbands and wives
moms and dads
grandmas and papas
widows and widowers
singles

I've been trying to regain who I am
remember and become again
precious and worthy and beloved
I've just been feeling ashamed

lacking
wrong
inadequate

I think it'd be easier to feel guilty
for the things I've done
instead of this shame for who I am

but the words keep coming
as well as the days

today
"you are more valuable than many sparrows"
                          Matthew 10:31
God still sees me
always
and values me
forever

I feel my feelings are inordinate to the actual circumstance
I am so effected

changed
by relationships
that added another dimension to who I am

and now it has changed...all that I am