a still small voice

“Go out, 
and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” 
And behold, the LORD passed by, 
and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains 
and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, 
but the LORD was not in the wind; 
and after the wind an earthquake, 
but the LORD was not in the earthquake; 
and after the earthquake a fire, 
but the LORD was not in the fire; 
and after the fire 
a still small voice.
            1 Kings 19:11-12

And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, 
walking on the sea.
When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified,
and said, “It is a ghost!”
And they cried out in fear.
But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying,
“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."
Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You,
command me to come to You on the water.”
And He said, “Come!”
And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water
and came toward Jesus.
But seeing the wind, he became frightened,
and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him,
and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
When they got into the boat, the wind stopped.
Then those who were in the boat came
and worshiped Him, saying,

“Truly You are the Son of God.”
                    Matthew 14:31-32

I heard today's readings differently today

how have I read them everyday before now...
I can't even remember?!?

something sweet about God not being big and dramatic
but kind
and present in the little things
in my little life

but now I've seen the wind and the earthquake and the fire
they occur as we obediently
wait on the Lord
doing what God has asked us to do

awful scary things occur...
trials come and we must endure
we look for God
seek God
need God

and cannot find Him
He cannot be found
in the chaos
in our fear
when we need Him most...

and then
when the turmoil has passed
and the quiet ensues
suddenly there He is again
we are able once again
to see and feel and know Him

why do we not recognize Him as He approaches us?
why are we terrified?
why do we even  try to name His appearance as something otherly?
when we should know and expect Him?

but even in our darkness
He comes to us

reassures us

calms our fears
and then we do recognize Him

and He even gives us what we ask from Him

and we take a step
into what terrified us a moment ago
we listen
we obey
trying once again to be like Christ

and the amazing and impossible occurs
and then we doubt
and think somehow this is impossible

and we can't believe again until the calm comes
once again

He calms the storm
So that the waves are still
THEN they are glad because they are quiet
So He guides them to their desired haven
OH that men would give thanks to the Lord 
for His goodness
                  Psalm 107:29

Is God not always God
Is God not always good

able

loving

giving

caring

God

and His small voice whispers in me

In this world you will have tribulation
but be of good cheer
I have over come the world
         John 16:33