two Tuesday conversations and another wonderful Wednesday

will be with my girl again this afternoon
in these final days of her being my girl
{as if she were ever mine!?!?}

soon and very soon she will be an others...

and to be able to see bimmer now too!

it's an amazing thing to watch your children
walk thu their life
it is a blessing
to watch them go places
and do things
on their own

to simply be present
to watch

I talked with a young man in the grocery store yesterday
who lost his mom
to suicide this summer
his eyes held mine
I wasn't just someone in the grocery
I was a mom
someone else's mom
but a mom
and I felt an overpowering need to be maternal
to this very tall grown up man
I wanted to scoop him up and tell him all would be well
right there in the dairy case
instead I invited him to dinner

and then

I got a phone call from someone I do not know
but they used to be a friend of my mom
they were calling to inquire about 'the family'
so interested in how we were all doing...
I told them I wasn't the one they wanted to be talking to
that I could see that there was still an interest
and a soft spot there
or they wouldn't be calling
and that they should be talking to my mom
I told them there is always room for forgiveness
and new beginnings in relationships
that maybe with the years of added wisdom and strength
things could be different
they refused
and not only pursued the line of questioning with me
but went on to tell me all the character flaws
of my mother
waiting for me and baiting me to join in and agree
how presumptuous
to tell me about the person who birthed me
how arrogant to ask me about how close we are
if I knew....?
if we talked...?

amazing

that the woman I have fled my whole life
I was defending
and asking reconciliation and redemption for

maybe God {and my sweet hubby} has really worked something out there?!?!

and these came today
little felted woolen polka dotted balls!
something I never knew existed until a couple months ago
when our girl set her heart on them...