all hallow's eve

Dom and Chris serenading on youtube with their guitar and mandolin
"making my heart a garden"

holy evening
the vigil for the feast of the saints, the holy

followed by all souls day
the day or those who have died

we are part of...the communion of saints
we long for holiness

holiness

I think in my 'quest' to be holy
I think I need to be...
Mother Theresa with the poorest of the poor
Thomas Merton writing in a monastery
Therese of Liseux suffering in a convent
Francis of Assisi who to this day still has pilgrims
     from all over the world longing to draw near to his holiness
not to mention the Blessed Mary
     who gave her son freely for our eternity

I am just allison
in Morgantown
opening boxes in a basement
full of made in China merchandise
to display for all the Christmas patrons...
who will soon be trapsing up and down the street
looking for that perfect gift

or trapsing thru people's perfectly decorated homes
photographing their beautiful lives

there was a time in my life that I was content
in where the Lord had placed me
and I encouraged others to know that they too
were exactly where they should be
or they would be somewhere else!

but it's a different day now

and lately I have been struggling with 'now what, Lord?'
don't I need to be doing something other, bigger..smaller...
do I need to go to Jamaica and help with the severely disabled children?
or work in a school in Africa?
or visit the local hospital three times a week?
or be part of the women who pray the rosary once a month?
or stop in and adore you for an hour...

but I'm thinking that maybe what He is working into me
is that this is where I am now
and I need to accept and be content in it
again

while He continues to transform and make me holy

knowing that I am serving Him with my single Sunday shut-in visit
and my couple hours with hospice

and that it's okay to long for what I think is more saintly service
but that this is what I am called to be obedient and joyous in
right now
and perhaps forever

I am no bigger or better than anyone else around me
why should I feel like God should be doing more with my life
He has given me this life
and is working His life into my life
and oh my I still have so far to go to become a humble holy servant
the first thing being getting rid of these preconceived ideas of what a saint should do...
and just being willing to be a saint where I am

to be humble
to be good dirt
to become able to grow whatever God wants to grow in me
not whatever I am trying to push up!