all that i am

a sixty degree Saturday after Thanksgiving
little voices in our usually silent neighborhood
the grandparents under the big magnolia tree
are playing with their little grand ones
Barbara and the good doctor are walking the dogs
with their grand littles in hand

I'm decorating for Christmas
things come down
to make room for other things going up

I'm not one to put on Christmas cds to listen to
     while working
music is always randomly playing in my head?!?!
raffi or charlie brown or burle ives would just put me over the edge!!!

"last christmas I gave you my heart...."
       George Michael

it's been a year since Christmas
it seems like yesterday...we were just doing all this
with extra little hands helping

So...even in my self imposed insulating silence
the unpacking of every single little thing
still wrenches my heart

the jingle of the bells that hang on the door

the extra stockings that will just stay packed away
the Nativity set that is missing Mary
     who somehow disappeared last year

it's a sentimental time of year
every year
full of traditions that hold our past

This year
thinking back to last year...
with the far aways here
and
thinking all the way back
to our first year of marriage
as the new mr and mrs begin

our first year...
before any children
before four children
before becoming in-laws
before becoming grandparents

once upon a time we were just starting out too?!?

we were young...
beginning

figuring it out

living days just like these ones lived today
in a different place
in a different time
but somehow the same...

as our parents before us
and the grandparents before them

and now our children...
are married...
making their own way
creating their own traditions

traditions that remind us of where we come from
and establish who we are

there is something soothing
about putting out the same things year after year

the white Santa collection...
the rolly poly santas
the Nativity sets
    the one Nana gave me
    before we were even married
    the one my hon's parents gave us
    for our very first married Christmas
    the one his Aunt gave us
    that she grew up with
    the wooden one we bought
    when our kids were very little
             so they could play with it
             [the one Mary is missing from!]
the piles and piles of St. Nicholas books....

We never imagined what this day would look like
28 years down the road...
What do their days hold

"eye has not seen
ear has not heard
what God has ready for those who love Him"
           1 Corinthians 2:9