all that i am

thank you, Lord
for the cool of this day
for the place of labor to spend in safety away
a place of simply being
engaged
hidden
busy

while the world whirls around

my heart's desire
my deepest fear
exist as one
that I am helpless before

thank you, Lord
for knowing that place
for ordering and perfecting
and working in me trust and submission
to Your Holy Will

thank you, Lord
for the memory of a dream
the first time ever
somehow entered in
walking up ramps
a vast vista of ocean view
running back down
suitcases and presents
in my lap once again

these are my tears
I know where they come from
they are familiar to me
gratitude and missing and living and beauty and questions and release

nothing that I have done
nothing that I have failed to do
nothing to be afraid

and then
there are the tears
I don't know
they come upon me and pour
they don't hurt or sadden me
they simply pour
and I would love to just cry them
to loose all control and just weep till they are gone
but somehow I feel that will never happen
until these days are done

Psalm 126:5
those who sow in tears
shall reap in joy
he who continually goes forth weeping
bearing seed for sowing
shall doubtless come again with rejoicing

Revelation 5:2
...golden bowls of incense
which are the prayers of  the saints

Psalm 56:8
You number my wanderings
put my tears into Your bottle

"just be"

"I have poured myself into you
 and I will pour myself out of you"


so much striving
positioning
accomplishing

appearances

suddenly
to just recognized
seen as I am