all that i am

in one moment in the darkness
my world began to turn
full spin by dawn
broken upon us

walking in silence
stinking streets
not even a foot fall

my name
two times at one corner
I am seen
I am known
I am not invisible
I am not alone

somedays
beauty is easy
walking around

somedays
I don't have the right countenance
to walk at all

too emotional
too sentimental
too much sadness
to hold

looking down on the bridge
where that young boy last stood
a sparkle catches my eye
a little pink diamond ear ring lost
now in my hand

a moment later
eye to eye with larry
sitting on the stoop at the end
under the bridge
dressed clean in blue polo
jeans and white socks
a bottle between his wide knees

he smiles
and he tells me
the next time he sees me
he has a song that he wants to sing

steps ahead of me
I notice the young man walking
has a bracelet around his ankle
I wonder
what is his crime

and even my pretty little workplace
has chemo on wednesday
and sad eyed parents
killing time
unable to pull themselves away from town
as their first born son turns freshman
sooner or later some time today
they must drive away and leave him
to walk on his own

cancer
and prison
and my own blessed family
I walk
and I smile
and am light
and hope in the shadow of darkness

I can't bare to behold it
let alone change it
wanting
to lay it all down
'enough'

realizing perhaps that is exactly what we're supposed to do

lay it down
again
at His pierced feet above
get up
walk on
keep on walking
cross the bridge...

"arise and eat

eat the bread
drink the water

or the journey will be too much for you"
           1 Kings 19 3-8

is it that simple really
when it seems like too much
peaches and ice cream
has to be better than bread and water

thank You
for the alone time
for the walking
one more time
for Your Presence in the bread and wine
this evening
thank You
thank You
I trust You
I will rest in Your immeasurable, inexplicable, unending love