three hours
first thing this morning
in a waiting room
changing oil and brakes
initially alone
able to read above the drone of the wall mounted flat screen tv overhead
then the large screen tv began to fade in and out
as the room filled
with neon colored running shoes
and people checking their iphones
and reading their papers and kindles
and seniors conducting loud conversations
di and dilbert and mineral rights and florida vacations
kids moving back home and the nodules in the lower lung
and marty's wife's suicide
and the arizona heat and the round about
and doing the cooking now in their retirement as their wives still work
and dishwashers and the rain of summer and mowing lawns and garden blight
billboards on the street flash and repeat themselves over and over
ambulances and coal trucks speed by
a young professional woman comes in and wipes a table with a disinfectant wipe
before sitting and pulling out her work
an older couple with coffees approach a table
and with their hands
brush the chair seats
so as not to soil their pants when seated
then they proceed to use those hands to eat their shiny glazed donuts
all around
this busyness of waiting
these distractions of living
eventually like an over stimulated baby
I put on my sunglasses put my head back and immediately fall asleep
and wake up thinking two things
I am a man of unclean lips
and I live among a people of unclean lips
Isaiah 6:5
and
today's gospel
'the inside of the cup'
"you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish
but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence
cleanse the inside of the cup and dish
that the outside of them may be clean also"
Matthew 23:25-26
I hear things I should not hear
I see things I should not see
I do things I should not do
I think things I should not
I allow things that should never be
like the couple who cleans the nasty waiting room seats
so as not to get the seat of their pants dirty
and then eats with the same hand used to do the wiping
and even the disinfecting of the work surface by the hyper vigilant young professional
we don't really have a clue
how to protect ourselves from filth, germs, ignorance, boredom, WAR, destruction, sin, death
yet day in and day out
intentionally or without thought
we are busy
with what we deem to be necessary
car maintenance, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, exercise
keeping up with the latest on our neighbors
checking up on our kids
the billboards and newspapers and magazines and flat screens
repeat the urgency of their messages
hour after hour
day after day
have your PVC valve checked
have a multi-phasic blood analysis
follow up, check up, buckle up, lock up
take care
of yourselves
your stuff
if you don't
who will
and yet inside of me I hear
"come away
by yourself
to a deserted place
and rest
awhile"
Mark 6:31
seek Me
your life is hidden in Me
cast all your cares upon Me for I care for you
pray
and so I pray
but even in that I know not what to pray for
I pray for protection
on that helmetless bike always and especially today
knowing this afternoon our youngest will be alone in the woods
over the rocks, in the water
from snakes, from drowning
yet
where he is protected
is
as he travels
home
on the interstate
he hydroplanes
spinning
across two lanes of traffic and both shoulders
just yards from a looming 18 wheeler barreling down the mountain
this weekend's story flashes through my head
he is safe
not smashed, not rolled over, not blind, not mangled
he is alive
and accompanies us to daily mass
it could have been
a night sitting in the E.R. waiting room
it could have been
years in recovery
it could have been...
instead it is
Eucharist
thank You, Lord
thank You
his room
caught out of the corner of my eye
walking by in the evening light
just before sitting down for our delicious dinner
together
LORD, You have probed me, You know me
You know when I sit and stand
You understand my thoughts from afar
You sift through my travels and my rest
with all my ways You are familiar.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
LORD, You know it all.
Behind and before You encircle me
and rest Your hand upon me.
Psalm 139:1-5
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