days of June

one word
MONDAY
allowed me to discover just what year it was
that I stood a little girl in a candy shoppe
on my birthday
june
11
the year
...1973

not only did I receive the luscious novelty of my favorite See's Candy for that birthday
mmm...."butterscotch squares"
but the woman behind the counter
tore off the date from her wall calendar
and gave it to me for my scrapbook
...the day I turned 15

sentimental little girl
sentimental woman
still
after 41 years

...the year I was fifteen....
the man who would become my husband and I had our very first date

forty one years ago?!?!

thirty one years ago
smiling kissing we married

a knight with his sword wed to a princess in a white gown
she took him into her world
he took her into his

and one short year later their lives were changed forever
thirty years ago
in June
the 16th
SATURDAY
his mom
my new mother in law
left us for eternity...

and the feeling that most surprised me
even today
was that life went on
...to my chagrin
it was busy
normal everyday
experiences and living
gratitude and glory
beauty

when in reality everything had ended!?!?
everything was changed

and in those days of June
we discovered
our lives were about to chang again forever
a little one came

five years ago
in June
the eighth
2009
a MONDAY
our little one went away
and on this day in 'Aleson' his life was changed forever

they had their own little one
whose birth and first days
I was blessed by
but even that ended
June
2
WEDNESDAY
2010

'they' came here to live
but left again
in June
2011
leaving the biggest hole my heart has ever known

but life was busy
normal everyday
experiences and living
gratitude and glory
beauty
it went on
to my chagrin

the words have gone away this time
just sounds around me now
birds
a car up the hill
the click of my fingers upon the keys
the familiar warmth
and sting of tears behind my eyes
the smell of holy that fills the heavy cool air
once again this June

but life is busy
normal everyday
experiences and living
gratitude and glory
beauty
... empty

Saturday someone prayed that the emptiness would be filled
Sunday someone said that I would heal

I know the pain changes
the hurt goes away
it is....replaced
by
life
living
busyness
of normal
experience
gratitude and glory
beauty... everyday

.......but it always seems to come again...