all that i am

morning office

my favorite scripture

or

one of them...
You shall be called by a new name
which the mouth
of the Lord will name
You shall also be a crown of glory
for the Lord delights in you....
so shall your God rejoice over you
               Isaiah 62:4            

Do not fear

for you will not be ashamed

neither be disgraced

for you will not be put to shame

for you will forget the shame of your youth

and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore

For your Maker is your husband

The Lord of Hosts is His name

and your Redeemer is the the Holy One of Israel

He is called the God of the whole earth

For the Lord has called you

"For a mere moment I have forsaken you

with a little wrath I hid My face from you

for a moment

            Isaiah 54

For as a young man marries a virgin,

So shall your sons marry you;

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride

           Isaiah 62:5

and from "holy experience" and Mary Oliver

" all my life I was a bride married to amazement

vowed to Awe Himself, covenanted to Christ –

and I took the whole of everything He gave 

in this gloried world 

into my open arms with thanks.

Because really? Yeah, I guess so -- Anybody can be a cynic. Cynicism is laziness in every way.

The real heroes are the ones who never stop looking for the possibility of joy."

I am the bride of Christ
I am loved
I am God's own
the bride of Christ
isn't that enough
isn't that oh so very much
too much
and yet

I still look and long and want to be happy to have JOY

why does it seems like such an impossibility

why is it so illusive to me...why am I so tragic and sad

I see the beauty of creation

I know the One who fashioned it...

I long for His perfect beauty and truth, to know my Lord, my God ever more dearly

yet babies die and are born addicted and live and grow in broken homes are beat and shamed and neglected and unloved

and they grow into women who hurt and men who cry

and yet we are loved and never alone

yet we live in this world of gravity and corners, of laws and predictability

I stop at the red light

oh so cautious any more

and as I look up a flash of golden milk weed fills my vision

I have to pull over

trying to capture the beauty of light upon the white softness

beautiful
fleeting

dying

mundane ordinary ignored passed by

all...for me...only for me

His finest gifts He gives
I open my little squinty eyes every morning
my stubby arms every day
my mouth every afternoon
I receive it all
thankfully, humbly...gratefully
it is what He chooses to give, to me, today...