all the trappings...

I took down 'all the trappings' of Christmas
and never put anything back into place
never re-decorated our home

I have just been enjoying the clear-ness of all the surfaces
the sparseness

I realized this like a breath of fresh air as I stepped into our home
after being out all afternoon
shooting these images for a designer to submit to a magazine...

Being in this well designed, beautiful home
was like walking back into my life of oh however many years ago
when we designed and built our own dream home
then decorated our 'new construction'

Today as I busily composed and focused
I listened to the designer and the client talking
The words were mine... as the client
and then me again a few years later... as the designer
(which I did for several years)


We had it all
all the 'trappings' of success
"trappings: outward decoration or dress, ornaments, outward signs"

and the very next word after 'trappings' in Webster's...
is "Trappist: Roman Catholic Cistercian Order"

( I looked up 'trappings' to make sure it was the correct word I was trying to use...
and to see if I was spelling it properly?!?)

I have read two books so far this year 
'The Lessons of Saint Francis' by John Michael Talbot
and most recently
'How to Be A Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job' by Brother Benet Tvedten
and as I write this I am reminded of the first book I read by Henri Nouwen along long time ago
about his time in a Trappist Monastary....'Genesee Diary'

hmmmmmmmmm?!?

I have been thinking of re-decorating and I've wanted a few new area rugs...
but then I tell myself
they are not necessary
live like a monk...

I remember when we moved here...out of  'our house'
how difficult it was for me
so much of my identity was tied up in our home
where we lived
what we had
what we did

I remember that lesson well
how the Lord had to reveal to me who I was...

once again

So many times
along the way
He has had to reveal to me
just who I am

the initial finding of myself in Him
as a child of God
loved

then becoming a wife and mom
and all the years of learning to let go of the fear
of feeling inadequate for both of those jobs

and all along I've always thought I've been spiritually minded
and all along He has continued to gently teach me

my identity is in Him
and in Him alone

hopefuly there are many more days of learning before me

and I know there is a lot more scaling down that can be done in our life
a lot more modesty that needs to be acquired

we are happy...
with where we are
with what we have

the same wonderful marriage
the same wonderful children
the same wonderful loving Lord
who desires ever greater things for us

what will that be?
I don't know

monastic living?
or maybe
just a simplier life

void of 'all the trappings'