praying the lottery

yesterday we had coffee after mass with friends, and somehow those words were said...."praying the lottery"
much better than just playing the lottery...
although I believe just praying is best!?

I know what I'm praying about...but I can't remember if we were even talking about that at coffee?!?

oh well...pray pray pray
always
everywhere
with gratitude and supplication
believing
without ceasing

got all the Christmas down and put away yesterday
as much as I love getting it all up and out
smelling the tree
remembering every ornament
loving the twinkling lights
and jingling bells at every door opening and closing

I love it just as much when it all goes away
and everything is clean
dusted for the first time in a month
and the cookie crumbs and pine needles wiped away!

I wish it were as clean outside as it feels inside today
its just melty out and wet shoes tracking in

It's amazing to me...
that first photo...
I was just sitting around in the living room
yesterday afternoon... photographing the sun as it made it's appearance!
playing with the settings on my camera
(still trying to figure all that out!??!)
taking pictures of all the stuff I usually take pictures of...

and this is what I see today when I download everything
'opportunity knocks'

I am needing to make some money
I don't know how or what I want to do

and I am blessed to right now have that luxury

yet it looms over me....

this dark unknown...

I don't know how to go about so many different things

selling my images...
I have connected with a couple websites!
but would anyone care to even look at them let alone buy them!?!?

I could take photos...be a photographer...
but I still have so much to learn and to acquire

I could be a nanny
I've raised some kids
is that qualification enough

I could deliver flowers or be their customer rep
I grew up doing that

I could go back to school to get a degree as a counselor
and do pastoral care

what?

how?

some people find inspiration in these great unknown future opportunities
it overwhelms
and paralyzes me

I'd much rather stay in my known little life
doing my housework and my volunteering
taking a few photos and playing in my studio