the first day of spring, new beginnings

i am so glad to be a little, well a lot...
older than i used to be!?!?
i remember being young
and every gosh darn feeling had to be talked about
as it was felt
or as soon there after as possible
friends were so important
someone to share it all with

then my guy came along
and oh my
he was absolutely the best to share it all with
and we would talk into the night...
i loved him
and he made me a home
and gave me children
and we talked into the night
and then we got tired
and we pledged...
let's not talk
we'll just be up all night
with not only all my feelings
but suddenly the ones he began to feel
after all these years?!?

so after all these years together we pretty much
know how each other feels
and respect each other's...
    greater need for sleep than talking
    ability to handle and deal with our own feelings

BUT sometimes
i still need to talk
and things roll around in my head
for hours, or days, or weeks
trying to formulate themselves
into some comprehendable expression
and i can't seem to do it
which makes me feel an even greater need to talk...

and then suddenly
after all the agonizing in my head
it all becomes clear
a few words...
rather than all those colliding feelings
i can share
it is consice
and understandable
i feel better
we are better

whew

i like to think i am a little more patient now
forgiving
loving
allowing a little time to pass
not reacting to every flit and feeling

thinking things thru
prayfully
mindfully
intentionally

or am i still that same young girl
with that same old need to share every gosh darn thing
just calling it blogging now?!?