life...and new life

a rainy day after a glorious warm weekend
woke to chirping birds
and the familiar blinking lights of the garbage truck
this morning

up a lot earlier than usual
to get our son, home for his brother's birthday
on the road back to college and classes today...

those lights and sounds alot more comfortable
than the lights and disturbing silence
of the ambulance parked in front of our home
last evening

we had just finished dinner
the guys in front of the ncaa games...again
the women gathered around the table to talk again....
kids playing again...

when we all notice and move to the front porch
to see
elizabeth and i prayed
we quickly realized it's for the old man who has been living next door
since loosing his wife a couple of years ago
we see him going in and out
still driving
living in his son's garage apartment

they brought him out
for the last time

we could kind of tell
from the lack of urgency
that the emt's had
that that was going to be the outcome

what an unusual thing to see
at the end of the day
next door

i thought about what i wrote a few weeks ago
about 'wanting'
and not wanting to die upstairs in the back bedroom
wanting to die at the beach...in the dream house?!?!

somewhere that doesn't even exist...

but this morning my hon and i sat on the couch and talked
and we decided this is home
our kids have come and gone here
graduated and left home

this is our home
where we live
this is where our bed is

our bed
that i love

why, what makes me wants more?

this is good
this is real
this is where the kids come home
where vinnie looks in the fridge and says
'you have such good food'
where he puts his feet up and says 'it's so nice to be home'
where we tell him 'we're always right here...'

this is where all the family comes to celebrate
birthdays
life...

where the no show 'boyfriend' is intimidated to come to?!?
home...to meet the family!?!?

where we pass around two new little babies

and where we will someday soon welcome the newlyweds and our grandbaby...


i told my hubby, to at least move me to my favorite spot on the front porch swing!?!?