mushrooms float

fresh rain water for the birds
and a freshly hosed porch for me...

2:30 in the afternoon in yet another one
of my very favorite spots in the world...
my front porch swing
the first swing of the season
oh i could burst with elation
a beautiful glorious sunny afternoon
after a morning of rain
which after yesterday evening just seemed appropriate

the buses are filing down the street
going to pick up at the high school
i'm sure one of their favorite things...

the tulip magnolia across the street
is just about to burst open with it's pinkness
but today it is just 'twinkling'
the sun flickering and reflecting off the Chrismas lights
that surround almost each and every branch
gently moving in the breeze

talked to the good doctor just now
my husband was right
it wasn't just natural causes
that took our old neighbor

but lonliness
and the act of his own hand

while i was outside all day saturday
doing another one of my favorite activites
"hosing"
cleaning the porch and deck in preparation for the birthday dinner
i was aware of his pleasant cigar aroma drifting overhead

but how did we miss the sound of the gun shot!?!

just moments ago i felt like such a good neighbor
having prepared dinner for them for this evening
a comfort food favorite...grandma steak
(hence the reference to 'mushrooms float'...
on top of braised beef immersed in broth
in what turns into a rich
delicious gravy)

but
and now i feel so negligent
why didn't we sense something
hear anything
i pride myself on my hearing...

i can only  imagine how his son feels
they didn't discover him till sunday night
and he reportidly took his life saturday

first green

i visited a new hospice patient this morning, Mary
i understand why the Lord commands us to visit the widow
and the sick, and those in prison
their is such sadness and lonliness in this world
and sometimes just a little visit
a little talk
a little prayer
can make all the difference in the world

and not just to those we are visiting
but to us

it changes my perspective for the whole day...
and hopefully for ever

going to the grocery store
and seeing someone in a wheelchair cart
or the elderly shopping alone and oh so slowly
used to make me feel bad
but they are at least able
able to get out
to move

i smile at them
some of them slowly smile back

they too should visit a nursing home
i'm sure it would change their own perspectives as well

we have so much...
ability, freedom, faith

let alone
sheer belongings...

i saw it when my mom moved up here
and moved from her home
to one room...
where did all her stuff go!?!
a lifetime of things
that help define us?

but in a nursing home
there's even less
how little Mary had around her

a whole life lived

and when it comes down to the end none of it matters

i longed for our big dining room over this past weekend...
i long for enough matching wine glasses...

did Mary ever have wine glasses?
does her daughter have them now
or maybe they were sold off at a yardsale somewhere
and someone is using them
loving them
apprecitating them
all over again

we have so much
i have so much

everything i could ever desire and more