canceled or cancelled the meaning is the same?!?!?

so as disappointed as I am
compound that with 9 months of pregnancy
and all those baby hormones...
the waiting, the expectation, the anticipation
and then to hear "canceled"
one more time

I've never seen such sadness and disapointment
as I did this evening when talking to our daughter-in-law and son

I am so disappointed I can hardly stand it
...a volcano...
I didn't realize how I just took for granted where I would be
and what I would be doing this week...
until all these delays began

there's nothing to be done
at least I am home
and not stranded

but to be confirmed, then to be cancelled
to reschedule...and then to be cancelled again...
is wrenching...

what I was supposed to be doing right now is waking in Germany
waiting for the baby to be born
I'm more than ready, so anxious...
and still I'm just home
and may be for a long while

that little one has been so cooperative...'waiting for me'?!??!
but he won't make his mom and dad wait forever...
he will come soon

and I will get there when I do...

there really is nothing to do
except be grateful that I am not stranded
in some foreign land
away from home
alone

and so I surrender to God's perfect timing
and plan
and rest in His perfect peace
ahhhh
breath
all will be well
He is present with them
they will do fine together
they surely don't need me

and someday the ash will clear
and I will be there

and we will always remember
the volcano that dom and vanessa's baby was born during
Eyjafjallajokull