my last sleep here, tomorrow to the gästezimmer...and the day after....he comes on the jet plane...we pray against Eyjafjallajokull

the snail was back
fully extended... in full glory
and it wasn't even a rainy day
although he managed to rouse the same sense of gratitude
in me today
as he did the other day when I saw him

and this time not just gratitude for the rain...

but gratitude for all the discomforts and wounds and fears and hard and big scary dark places
that we all come from




gratitude for those places
because in those places is where we find the One we seek

the One who will be with us always
and who we
will be with always

I didn't always have the faith I have now
I remember being afraid
so many times in my life
being alone

pulling in my face, my eyes...just like the snail

yet somehow
through the Holy Spirit

I am no longer afraid

I get fearful
worry
scared

but just that feeling in me
causes something in my spirit to rise up
and look whatever it is
straight on
honestly
with the help of my Lord

and I hear His words echoing thru those scary lonely times of my life
and resounding back at me
in a still quiet
voice
cast your cares upon Him...for He cares for you
be not afraid...I am with you always
I have loved you with an everlasting love...you are mine
I delight in you....

I am enough
I am who I am
I am where I am

all with His blessing

believe


I am not perfect
I don't always know what to say or do
do any of us?
but as imperfect as I am
and as imperfectly as I am able to love
It is enough....
I am enough

and God is more than enough....
exceedingly abundant

I look into the face of my grandson
of my son
of my daughter in law
and I long for so much for them
I love them....

and I realize
God looks upon them
and me
all of us
that exact same way

yet His love is perfect
He is able
to love perfectly
and to accomplish good...in each of us
and to work His perfect will for everyone of us
He even knows what that will is...


we can rest in Him
cease from all our senseless work and worry
and just continue to draw near to Him

with all our fears and tears
and pray

for He has made us... fearfully and wonderfully
and
hears our prayer even before we have the words to ask

and in this I give thanks