when I was ten

 

When I was ten
I began to keep a journal
I began a way of life
that has remained part of me these past 42 years

{it's the thin black journal on the far left
with the little gold bands on the binding}
[under the small blue one]

I had diaries before ten
when I was young!?!?
but that year
I deliberately wanted to journal
to record

I had seen my father before me
write in his journal
and I wanted to too

I remember shopping for my new journal
I was with my best friend
Diane Dubick
it would've been a Saturday
we were at the local drug store
DiStefano's
'the candy store'
...because it had the longest richest candy aisle!

we'd always go there on our way to the school playground
to pick out sunflower seeds
or almond joys
or clark bars
or heath bars

to munch on
while we sat on the monkey bars
and solved the issues of our ten year old world

but that day I knew I was going to purchase something more
and I ventured beyond the candy aisle
to the back
near the script counter
to the office supplies

that friend is a Christmas card correspondent now
but my journals remain the trusted place where
I continue to try to solve the issues of  life

they hold the grade school crushes
and high school heartbreaks
the first date with my hon
and the days of moving away
and living alone
the longing to be married
and early marriage
the children's baby days
and going aways
and
my every ever changing emotion
and
the accumulation over such a long time
of my precious ounce of faith

the words to page tell the story of an inner world
and give just the slightest clue about events
and happenings that anyone else might recall!?!?

when I was ten...
things happened that will never be forgotten
journaled or not

but my life has been redeemed
because of the words inscribed upon those pages