all that i am

there was a lot of discussion Friday at our women's group
about praying
and not praying
responsibility
and failing

then Sunday's second reading was
Romans 8:26
         The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness
         for we do not know how to pray as we ought
         but the Spirit Himself intercedes 
                 with inexpressible groanings
         and the One who searches hearts knows what is 
                  the intention of the Spirit
         because He intercedes for the holy ones 
                  according to God's will

setting my mind and spirit at ease

God is the prayer within us
and the One who hears the prayer
and the One who answers the prayer

even if I don't know
God knows

and then this weeks formal prayers
snippets of the opening prayers of the mass from this week

Sunday
         make us always eager to serve you
         in faith, hope, and love
Monday
         may we come safely to you at the end of our lives
Tuesday
         let the gift of your life
         continue to grow in us,
         drawing us from death
         to faith, hope, and love
yesterday
         strengthen us who celebrate this
         day of triumph
         and help us to be victorious
         over the evils that threaten us
today
         help us to know what we should do
         and give us the courage to do it

so much I do not know to pray for
....would not pray for
so much I do not know how to live
so much I do not know how to do
so much I do not know

in the world of words that I supposedly understand
let alone the spiritual world of things inexpressible...

thank You, for Your Spirit that You have given
          who prays within our hearts
thank You, for knowing that prayer
          for being behind each and every prayer
          before it is even formed in our mouths
thank You, for allowing us to be part of
          the accomplishment of Your will
          Your purpose

even if we know none of it

Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
The Merton Prayer
“My Lord God I have no idea where I am going. 

I do not see the road ahead of me. 

I cannot know for certain where it will end. 

Nor do I really know myself, 

and the fact that I think I am following your will 

does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that my desire to please you 

does in fact please you. 

And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. 

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. 

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road 

though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always 

though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. 

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, 

and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”