my husband, my son

The removal of God from our schools did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but we have removed God from our schools.

Disappointment did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is disappointment in among us.

Stress did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is stress among us.

Despair did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is despair among us.

Lack of gun control did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is lack of gun control among us.

Prostitution and pornography did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is prostitution and pornography among us.

Addiction did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is addiction among us.

Abortion and euthanasia did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is abortion and euthanasia among us.

Objectification did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is objectification among us.

Intolerance did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is intolerance among us.

Hatred and violence did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is hatred and violence among us.

Violent video games did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there are violent video games among us.

Violent movies and television did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there are violent movies and television among us.

Broken families did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there are broken families among us.

Domestic violence did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is domestic violence among us.

A poor mental health system did not cause the deaths at Sandy Hook, but there is a poor mental health system among us.

Mankind’s choice of evil over God’s will allowed sin to enter into this world, and through sin, death. It is the reality of evil among us that caused the deaths at Sandy Hook.

But “God so loved the world that he gave his only son” and this gift is not like the transgression. “For if by one person’s transgression the many died, how much more did the Grace of God and the gracious gift of the one person Jesus Christ overflow to the many. And the gift is not like the result of one person’s sinning. For after one sin there was the judgment that brought condemnation; but the gift, after many transgressions, brought acquittal. For if by the transgression of one person, death came to reign through that one, how much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of justification come to reign in life through the one person Jesus Christ.” (John 3:16 and Romans 5:15-17)

Our culture’s quest for wealth, power, acceptance, pleasure and honor results in the inevitable spiral of disappointment, unhappiness and despair. We are constantly drawn to the works of the flesh, immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outburst of fury, acts of selfishness, dissention, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies and the like. (Galatians 5:19-21)

In contrast the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Jesus Christ, love made flesh, did not come into this world to condemn the world, but rather that the world might be saved through him. (John 3:17)

III. The Conversion of the Baptized
1427 Jesus calls to conversion. This call is an essential part of the proclamation of the kingdom: “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent, and believe in the gospel.” In the Church’s preaching this call is addressed first to those who do not yet know Christ and his Gospel. Also, Baptism is the principal place for the first and fundamental conversion. It is by faith in the Gospel and by Baptism that one renounces evil and gains salvation, that is, the forgiveness of all sins and the gift of new life.
1428 Christ’s call to conversion continues to resound in the lives of Christians. This second conversion is an uninterrupted task for the whole Church who, “clasping sinners to her bosom, [is] at once holy and always in need of purification, [and] follows constantly the path of penance and renewal.” This endeavor of conversion is not just a human work. It is the movement of a “contrite heart,” drawn and moved by grace to respond to the merciful love of God who loved us first. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, Part 2, Article 4 – The Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation)

In the early hours of Saturday morning, I drove home from a gig and scanned the radio for something to listen to. As I am sometimes wont to do, I landed on the electronic / dance channel (by that time of morning, the music is very laid back / trancy). And as I listened, I was suddenly emersed in a beautiful and simple prayer, engaged in an unexpected liturgy, invited and reminded to wake my soul with love in the morning, feed my soul with love in the evening, and expand my soul with love on the weekend. Because Love is all I got.

A few short hours later, in that language that is by now no longer one that I can turn off or on depending on whether or not I really want to listen and understand what´s being said, but one still foreign enough to remind me that once I lived in a place where something else is spoken, I listened to a news report that included a story about a shooting in the land I once called home. My immediate reaction was one of only a subdued sense of the magnitude of the loss and the hurt that belong to such an act. In the years that have gone by since the shooting at Columbine High School when I was in 7th grade, reports of shootings at schools have become far more routine than they should be.

On April 20, 1999, I remember retreating into the basement of our house and playing hockey like I did most days. But the way I played was different on that day. I can still remember how cold the aluminum of the stick felt against my hands, hot from the boiling blood under their surface, how my fingernails drove against the ball of my hands as I clenched them angrily around it, how I slammed my confused anger into each shot against the stone wall and welcomed the harsh crack of the stickblade against my eardrums. I wish that I would have felt that way this morning when I heard that news report. But for the time being it was just another shooting, which have become far more routine than they should be.

But now, I feel that feeling in my chest and under my skin again. I´ve seen pictures of emergency vehicles parked outside a school, where children go to learn and play. I´ve seen pictures of parents who never imagined that friday morning´s goodbye would be the last they would get to say to their child. Their CHILD. And my blood boils and my heart breaks that there can be pain like that in the world that I live in.

And my first instinct, like so many other´s first instinct would be to say "See? Told ya! There should be no guns!" OR : "See? Told ya! More people need to have guns so that the criminals can be stopped." The emotional confusion that we feel when we hear about such things can mislead us into thinking that such simple solutions can prevent the kind of loss and pain that, although ever-present just below the surface of our day to day lives, erupts to the fore when something something as unexpected and shaking as Friday´s shooting happens. But neither can. So instead of posting a gun control or a guns don´t kill people slogan on my wall tonight, I just want to invite anyone who reads this to pray with me in these days that we open ourselves to Love with each new day and each new moment so that it might move through us to make the world better one breath, one life at a time.