all that i am

amongst so many other things

we prayed  today for artists
 'that their work might reflect God's splendor
  and give the world hope and joy'

I cannot even find hope and joy
for myself
sometimes
let alone give it to the world

"we do not look at the things which are seen
  but at the things which are not seen

  for the things which are seen are temporary
  but the things which are not seen are eternal
      2 Corinthians 4:18

how do we look upon what is 'not seen'?
what is 'not seen'?
what is 'heard'?
words?

what we 'smell'?
coffee with first light every morning?

chrism that fills my studio on these heavy close nights?

what we 'touch and taste' every sunday?
every day 
consume 
and are made one in

is that any more eternal than any other fading thing around me
what is eternal?

all this 'stuff' around me
it is not eternal
all I 'do'
all this ordinary same old
does it matter
does it bring hope and joy
fruit for eternity

and if I wasn't here doing it?

today the words
just make me sad

"why are you cast down oh my soul?
 and why are you disquieted within me?
 hope in God
 for I shall yet praise Him
 the help of my countenance and my God"
           42


"oh that men would give thanks to God
 for His goodness 
 for His wonderful works to the children of men!"
          107

He is good
He has done above, and abundantly beyond
all that I have ever asked or even thought
and yet I demand even more...
so much more

thank You, Lord

I believe that we are in You
living breathing and have our being
even in this physical world
it is gift
full of Your glory
the covenant of day and night
consistant stable
and somehow in it
You are revealed
we come to know You
Your love
we come to trust You
to rest in You
Your peace

thank You
for loving us as Your very own little ones
thank you for filling us with Your love 
through Your Spirit 
so that we too might love