cuddler

my first 

evening to cuddle

two hours like ten minutes

4 days young

4 little pounds

a little fist wrapped around my little pinky

tucked up closely beneath his little chin

his little lip sucked in, his little nose

and every time a tremor comes

he clinches and clutches even closer

his perfect little fingers holding mine

and someday

he will fight with that fist

a different fight than he fights tonight

he will fight in the class room, cafeteria, the street

with this same strength he has had from his birth

the will to survive

against all odds he will live

but his strength will become anger

fighting at home with the mother who brought him to life

who gave him a name already attached

'born addicted'

she couldn't

she didn't

love him

enough

while he grew within her

very own womb

how can she

 how will she

love him even better

now that he is here

nine months and four days and four little pounds

'baby boy' is here

but where will the next year take him

and the years following that

who will hold him

safely

sweetly
sway him
stay with him

through his days and his night
I pray Our Father
who has created and has placed him
here among us
with us
protect and love him into life.......