all that i am

dark clouds luminous
over baby green golden leaves
the end of a tormented sunshine and cloud day
I find a warm spot
I sit in the sun
I sway
and sip my wine
alone
my mind is so full it spills from me
involuntarily leaking from my eyes
and my senses overwhelm me

I know
...I see
the same familiar world that has forever surrounded me
...I taste
the sweet wine held in my very own hands
...I smell
the heavy lilacs blocking our front door
...I feel
the warmth of evening sun setting on my blue jeaned legs
...I hear
the sound of far away music roaming distant streets
the music that began more than 25 years ago
promising ice cream for all who come out...

but what I don't know
what seems random and obscure
what I cannot seem to comprehend or understand
or even know from where it comes
...is just as real

even though I cannot see...my way through it
cannot get hold...of it
can only feel...it

maybe I should have never known it...
but I do
and I know this too is just as real as anything else I've ever known