all that i am

I am not quite an 'old soul'
getting up there...
but, not quite just yet!


though I have heard it said even of young children and babies
'they have an old soul'


meaning they seem somehow to be wise beyond their years?!
something in their eyes
like they've already lived....


I claim no wisdom
tho I have lived many years


and I only have hints of precious things
that may be...ages away
or 
may be closer than I think


what I know 
from what I have seen, and tasted and smelled
is sometimes
somewhat different
than what I dream
and hope for
in my soul 
for these present days
and for ages away


and what I know
is sometimes
somewhat different 
from what I believe


I believe there is love
I believe God is good


but what I know
is that there is divorce
my parents divorced
my mother's parents divorced before her
my mother divorced twice 
my father's wife divorced before marrying him


my sister divorced
my brother divorced


my husband's father lost his wife
and remarried a divorced woman
one of my husband's sister divorced
another sister married a divorced man


only two out of ten of us are married in the church
and are married still


one is unmarried
and one has been living with her boyfriend for years now


but I believe
that two people can love each other
their entire life