all that i am

"You, you alone will have the stars as no one else has them.
 In one of the stars I shall be living.
 In one of them I shall be laughing.
 And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing
 when you look at the sky at night.
 You, only you will have stars that can laugh"
        Antonio De Saint-Exupery

I wake in the night
midnight, 2, 4...
there were stars
there are not always stars

and I wake in the morning
and there is no Jesus
but morning prayer on the swing
makes me cry

Psalm 33

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
And by the breath of His mouth all the stars

...cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean...Matthew 23:26

the gospel

if we could clean any part of ourselves we would
but we must be made clean by the blood of the Lamb
and so we are

we participate
we pray
we cry

we are His

and yet in my sleep
the dreams come

I dream
in the dark
and from depths of my unconscious mind come my dreams that belie my life
I do not have the power to control that place

as if I have the power to control my conscious mind!?!?!?

yet I do try to have the mind of Christ
to allow the mind of Christ to be formed in me

God our Father

hear our morning prayer and let the radiance of your love scatter the gloom of our hearts

the light of heaven's love has restored us to life

free us from the desires that belong to darkness

he who learns must suffer

and even in our sleep

pain which cannot forget

falls drop by drop 

upon the heart

until in our own despair

against our will

comes wisdom

through the awful grace of God

                Aeschylus