walking into Barnes & Noble
seeing all those names
they have written
or have been written about
we know them
know of them
they've been recommended
they are recognized
they've been heard of
is that what I want now?
why is it always something?
finding the right man
buying the right home
figuring out when to have that first child
or second or third or more
getting them to sleep through the night
in their own bed
potty trained
socialized
educated
well mannered
well rounded
those things
absorbed my life
those things
I poured my life into
and more
laundry
and church
making beds
and shoes
winter coats
and sleep overs
athletic events
and spouses...
and...................
how did all that get done?
how did they all grow up so well?
but
it's not about that stuff anymore
the acquiring that must be done in youth
how many children
how many square feet in the dream home
how many figures needed to live
how to become who you will be
it's not even about the most recent longing
for place
where the end will be lived
where the children will come and gather
with their families
it's about what I'm pouring my life into now every day...
is this what I should be doing?
is this how I am to spend the rest of the life I have been given?
if this life would come to its end tomorrow
because it is incredible to me how quickly it all has gone by
is what I did today be how I would want to spend my last day?
do we have the luxury to ask that question?
the rest of this life
has to be accomplished in the next few short years
that will go by just as quickly as the last few have
will my name be remembered?
da vinci, John Hancock, Michelangelo, Steve Jobs, Paul
author, artist, anything??!!?
accomplished
contributed?
added?
I don't see it...
and so I live with this belief
that it's not about now
it's about eternity
it's not about fame
fortune
prosperity
posterity
it's about who I am
God's
own
child
loved
into existence
for some wonderful reason
to know
love
and serve
Him
now
and for all eternity
that...
...is enough
my restless
longing heart
my eyes
ears
hands
long for something more
I must find it in Him
only He can reveal it
begin it
inspire it
bring it into being
I have been waiting so long
looking
longing
and still...
if this is all
this has been enough
will this be all?
2 comments:
Beautifully written and reminds me of a friend of my husbands, who retired last year from a job he loved after 30+ years, retired to 'have a life' to enjoy his family and a new home. Only to discover this week he has terminal cancer and has the biggest fight a head of him ever. The journey is not how big the house is, how wonderful our job is, how famous we become, the journey starts inside ourselves as lessons of integrity and life are shared with the ones we love and we leave a legacy of who we were for them to look back on as long as they can. your thoughts are beautiful.
We all change the world, either by our presence or our absence. If we are present, we have some active measure of control over how and/or what we change. If we are absent, our influence is passive. This world has been changed, my dear Ali, for the better, to be sure, because you are here - present and active.
Post a Comment