it's a beautiful life

it's a beautiful life
new construction
post and beam
exposed rafters
soaring cathedral ceilings
hard wood throughout
marble tile floors in the kitchen and baths
walls of windows
overlooking the lake
one room tree house living
with two small rooms off each wing
for sleep
for study
for guests...if the kids coming to visit
exquisitely decorated
rustic antique juxtaposed with sleek contemporary

not my home...
although I could happily live there
but the sacrifices that were made along the way to arrive there
are not ones I was willing to make

and so after my rant a blog or two ago
about wondering if...
how I've lived
and what I've done
and what I have yet to do
is enough...
I ascertain yet again that I am quite content in my little life
with my intact family
even with this always restless yearning heart
I am pleasantly pleased with myself
and I believe that my Lord and my God
also takes a little pleasure
in all that i am

I believe it is Him
I long to please
I yearn to serve
and somehow I'm thinking I have to be bigger
better
more
to do that
but perhaps not

at least He hasn't brought that into my life yet...
and so I will continue to go to work
and come home
to our expansive view of the street and the houses and trees across it