the first of july

almost as bad as the first day of summer
'it's july'
the fourth is this week
summer is almost over
and why does this so effect my mood
it's not like my schedule changes seasonally anymore
it's not like I love this heat and humidity
I'm just dug in and unapologetically
cranky, moody, mean and nasty
because it's july
but
we make dinner on the new grill
and eat on the deck under the umbrella
lovely
then
it begins to rain
but of course
something else to be grouchy about
but then
there's a rainbow
a rainbow
I can't remember the last time I saw a rainbow
like the dolphins
like the big orange ball of sun rise
grace falls again
upon my cranky old self
I can't photograph it worth a gosh darn
but
oh well
I do recognize the gift
given
once again to this reluctant receiver...

maybe it's the heat
maybe it's the incessant weeding
maybe the ceiling that still needs painted
all the painting that still needs done
maybe it's the housing that still needs found
maybe the fact that it won't be the fourth as usual
as I've come to expect and look forward to and want

and
maybe
just maybe
it's because our grand daughter
is about to be born any day now
and I am far far away....